I'm eating all of the evidence.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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