she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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