TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
