Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
