Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
