Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Randomize
