ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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