Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
