god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I love black thongs
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
