The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
