The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
There's even glitter on my cock...
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