I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My feet surprised me
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
