so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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