So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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