He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
operation have a gay friend backfired
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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