at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
