he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
