Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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