we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
