i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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