i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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