just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Randomize
