Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
