He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
