***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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