pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
