Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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