I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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