I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I have fence marks all over my body
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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