so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
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