All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
