Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
