butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
