everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
