Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
