I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
