i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
