It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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