Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
