the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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