Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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