Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
