He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
