Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
