did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
lets start a swedish sibling band together
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
