Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
