Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
