I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
