Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
