What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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