There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I hope mine doesn't look like that
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
