remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize