dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
