I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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