I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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