i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize