I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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