Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
