that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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