no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
