i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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