It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
