he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I want a musical about memes.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
