is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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