I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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