The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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