Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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