So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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