you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
