tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's never too late to be topless.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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